Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
