he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
