dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
