Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
