Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
