he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
