I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
