GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
its not stalking. its research.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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