Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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