Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
