In the future we'll all be gay
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
