Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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