hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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