my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
