one two three fourrrrnication!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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