I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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