PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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