So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
