the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
