i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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