no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
