so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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