great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
