just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
