You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
