Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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