I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
