I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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