Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
