it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
