some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My liver just had a heart attack.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
