i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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