How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
