I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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