I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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