we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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