Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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