I want to walk on stilts...naked
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
