their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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