to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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