I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just had sex on a roof
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
