He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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