I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
