Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize