Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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