Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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