A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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