Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
