He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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