How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
