i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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