Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
